Sometimes I make myself sad. I feel like I'm just repeating everything over and over and over again. I make the same face in all my pictures, I draw people for the same angle every time, and all my story ideas are starting to sound the same. And if I come up with something that I think is different, someone else has already done it. Are there no good ideas left in the world? Has everything just been done to death? I used to feel original, but now I see girls walking around with mohawks and I can't help but think, "Am I just another shaved head in the crowd?"
So now I'm just sitting here, watching TV, because I can't think of anything original to write. I should just look in the mirror for an hour. That always makes me feel better. I could look at myself in the mirror forever. Can you tell I'm losing my mind? I don't know what's wrong with me. I write about 18 pages of a story with all the zeal you can imagine, and then I lose steam and it never goes anywhere. I swear I have at least 30 stories on my laptop that will probably never be finished because I just can't write much more than the first 18 pages. And I can't figure out why! They're all the same! I may as well just write one ending, change the names, and copy and paste into each one. It makes me sick of myself.
I'll perk up in a month or two. I'm just in a downward spiral at the moment. YAY.
But there's light at the end of the tunnel. One day I'll finish a story. Some day. Maybe. . . Whatever.
I need something new in my life. I need to go somewhere (outside North America) like I did in 2009. I need to experience new things and people of other cultures. My trip to Europe inspired me. I should do that again. If only I could afford such things. Well I suppose I have Egypt to look forward to after I get my degree.
Sigh. . . I'm going to bed.